Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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