Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
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hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
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You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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