Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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