So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
