Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
