Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
