yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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