she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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