Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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