tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
