no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
