I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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