your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
