I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
