Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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