i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
