I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
