I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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