We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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