Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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