bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I currently don't understand fingers.
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