The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize