was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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