So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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