I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
