I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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