is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
