I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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