if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize