Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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