I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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