You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
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you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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