MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
