I should be sponsored by Trojan
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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