Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
don't judge my taste in strippers
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
