i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
