we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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