1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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