he puts the penis in happiness.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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