That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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