We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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