I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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