oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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