My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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