Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
