It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We got so high we made milksteak
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
