just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
