I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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