And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
