real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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