Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
