Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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