dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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