I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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