The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
