I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
