My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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