Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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