Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
