yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
