he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
