I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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