i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
