Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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