hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dear god my vagina.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
