Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
